Manchester Monkey Business!

From Maletesta’s blog

Crivvens! Jings! And Help Ma Boab! The cheeky wee monkeys of the EDL staged a chimps tea-party in Manchester and behaved exactly the way their audience expects: they got drunk, got rowdy and made a mess whilst achieving nothing. At 11am a bunch of EDL turned up at Victoria Station and immediately started fighting with each other which set the tempo of the day, i.e., a protracted drunken brawl.

The EDL were marshalled in the Walkabout pub where it kicked off, with themselves and with plod. One group broke away to ‘take the streets back,’ i.e., went to a different pub then staggered about a bit before being taken back to the march. Our cameraman told us he ‘had just had a run in with some clowns at Brannigans. Camera took a dent but old bill lifted three of them… watch out there are random little gangs in search of soft targets.’

A few hundred counter-demonstrators gathered in Piccadilly Gardens for the usual tedious speechifying so we went for a mooch around. We arrived in Albert Square where the 2 demos were going to rally and found loads of bored cops standing in the sun. Both groups were to be shunted to the quiet end of town where they were positioned opposite each other with nothing but a no man’s land full of riot cops between them to inhibit the customary haranguing. The numbers seemed about even although an aerial shot shows a not great EDL turnout.

The counter- demo was jolly but nowhere near big enough to oppose an EDL ‘national.’ That the UAF held their conference on the same day was absurd: discussing what to do about fascism on the streets whilst several hundred fascists are marching on the streets is pointless. The counter-demo was multi-coloured and lively with union banners, sound-system and a drum group. It was like a party without a bar (but, luckily, toilets!).

Trade union banners, community groups, local politicians and anti-fascists were representing a broad section of the North West. Just who do the EDL represent? The silent majority? How do they know if they are silent? Twerps. We clocked a trampy looking ‘chav scrote’ spotter, with obligatory bad teeth and poor dress sense, who was taking photos with his phone, mainly of policemen’s backs it seemed. What he will do with the ‘Intel’ now is moot given Redwatch’s current problemettes.

Bye Bye Redwatch! Hello Prison!

Shortly after the counter-demo arrived, a large group of anarchists and anti-fascists were shepherded into the square which swelled numbers. One plod told us that there had been ‘an engagement’ earlier between anti-fascists and orangu-patriots. Tiny groups of EDL were either wandering about lost or mingling in the counter-demo offering their usual abuse, devoid of wit or sense, clutching Sainsbo‘s bags of lager. The EDL arrived just before 2 in their usual simian phalanx, wrapped in flags, soaked in lager, penned in and protected by the riot squad.

Anti-fascists had gathered in the south-east corner winding up the EDL until the chimps started rattling their bars and throwing their own poo around. They were an unimpressive herd of scrotes, pissed and angry, and a few missiles were thrown when anti-fascists goaded them then plod moved us out of view. Oddest banner of the day was ‘UAF are totally disturbed to defend peeedos.’ Jings! The counter-demo music totally drowned the EDL’s shouts and speeches out and then they tried to burn a Pakistan flag but failed embarrassingly. They had been chucking smoke bombs about previously.

EDL Angels: up for the crack!

We were getting some nice info all day via mobile and text, the best being the following. Sheffield hooly mob, the Blades Business Crew, were on their way to a ‘pre-arranged’ with Oldham’s Fine Young Cagoules but stopped off in the MCR. Plod boarded their coach and refused to believe that they were actually off to football as they ‘had no hats, scarves or rattles!’ Crivvens! There were also rumours that 2 factions of the EDL were going to have a sort out but they both bottled it.

It all seemed a bit pointless and plod had stage-managed it well: both sides could hurl abuse out of the earshot of shoppers. There were almost as many sight-seers as cops and plod seemed remarkably relaxed on our side. For the EDL, it was the same routine: get kettled in a pub, start infighting, move to demo site and back again. Some had set off from a Leeds pub at 8am so no doubt were in a bad way by 2. The baboons of the EDL are now a leaderless body but, unlike intentionally leaderless anarchists, they need leader to give instructions on how to eat their bananas correctly.

It was not a remarkable day for the EDL, there was no coup, no coordination, not much publicity and they just looked as clueless and daft as ever. We met friends old and new which was great and thanks to all of them for a cracker of a weekend. And at £2.10 a pint who can complain?

Further reading Game Over for the EDL?

EDL fail in Tower Hamlets

They came. They saw. They failed. And now they’re coming up with the usual bullshit to save face…

Saturday saw the long awaited EDL outing to London. For them, it was nothing short of a failure. Despite planning this one for months and claiming it was to be ‘the big one,’ they only managed to muster around 1,000 infidel, ray gun fighting warriors. Many groups struggled to fill coaches and some bottled it all together.

Locally they were poorly represented- the only group to turn up from the area were the Bristol & Gloucestershire division.

The Hereford EDL ‘division’ (if it can be called that) failed to get anybody there at all. Sad act and self-appointed leader, Darren Poland, has been doing his nut on Facebook since. He’s now calling for an ‘emergency meeting’ this coming weekend. We doubt its worth the effort mate, you’ll only end up getting two of you along like the last one.

The Worcester division were quiet for this one as well…London is a bit further from home than Telford is after all. Too much effort, Dave?

Before the day even arrived the EDL were finding it hard; members were left confused after the ban and were relying on the leadership to put the plans on the internet the night before. Pubs that were due to be hosting them pulled out one after another, following pressure from anti-fascist campaigners. The night before, RMT activists threatened to close the tube stations where the EDL were meant to gather, adding a further headache to their plans.

On the morning of the 3^rd, RMT activists followed through with their plans and offered some great practical solidarity to anti-fascists. Tube stations were closed, and emergency alarms in stations and trains were set off, leaving some groups of EDL stranded in various parts of London, delayed from getting to their meeting points.

The usual mixture of unions, left-wing organisations, community and faith groups assembled on Whitechapel Road throughout the morning and early afternoon, bulked up by large groups of locals. We have to admit that this was also a pretty poor turnout, with only around 1,500 on the streets. However, larger numbers of locals were also in surrounding areas, awaiting the arrival of the EDL…

But they never came. The closest they got to the ‘lions den of militant Islam,’ (Tower Hamlets) was Aldgate tube station. They could do with touching up on their local geography though, because that’s in the City of London. Doh!

Groups of militant anti-fascists and anarchists, as well as large groups of local youth made spirited efforts to reach the EDL all day. Whilst this wasn’t possible due to the area resembling a police state, it was very encouraging to see links made between them, and a lot of people seeking to confront the EDL and not simply being led by the UAF and their ‘official’ counter demonstration.

So after pulling around 1,000 troops and managing to get as close as they would to their intended destination, the usual spectacle began. They chanted three letters over and over. Out came the beer bellies and shit tattoos. Scuffles began and a few arrests were made.

Then Steven Lennon took to the stage. Disguised as a Rabbi, he gave a speech. He was also breaking his bail conditions, which he publicly stated, goading police officers to arrest him. He was surprised when they did. He’s currently on ‘hunger strike’ in police custody. This situation will have one of two conclusions; this noble freedom fighter will fast until death, putting his beliefs first and giving his life to the cause. Or he will fail miserably and be back on the chips and pies diet before you can say ‘you fat bastard.’ As much as the former would be a fun spectacle, we think it’s likely to be the second option that comes through.

And after all of that, they finally got their march… back to their coaches via Tower Bridge.

Shortly afterwards a group of locals gave a heartfelt ‘farewell’ message to some EDL members. In a move of sheer idiocy, a coach full of the numpties made its way down Whitechapel Road, with it’s occupants goading local young muslims. Within seconds the mob charged and the coach came under sustained artillery fire, with its oh-so-brave occupants now cowering inside. The bus was left with some new ventilation, and the 40 EDL members inside left with their tails between their legs, behind the protection of about 200 police officers in full riot gear, who rushed to their rescue.

To top the day off nicely, hacking group ‘Team Poison’ kindly released dozens of phone numbers, internal emails and forum usernames/passwords for a load of EDL members, including some of the leadership. Bostin!

The response since to the 3^rd has been almost as interesting as the day itself. The EDL haven’t even released an official statement or report on the day yet, with a few comments on Facebook apparently enough to keep the rabble happy. ‘EDL 1 – Tower Hamlets 0’ they claimed. A strange choice of words we feel, after all they were going there to oppose militant Islam, and highlight the problems of sexism and homophobia in the area, right? Evidently not, they’ve declared the entire borough and it’s population as their enemy… This façade really is wearing thin now guys! I doubt even the blindest of EDL supporters will follow this line without question for much longer.

The illiterate fools over at the Casuals United blog have an interesting take on the day too. According to them the day was a ‘massive victory’ for the EDL, with us ‘Commies’ in despair over the low turnout on the counter demonstration. The tools behind Redwatch have also made us chuckle. They’ve put up a couple of pictures of an anti-fascist block on a Gaza solidarity demo in 2009 and claimed they’re from Saturday… Silly twats.

So to round off; they didn’t have the march through Tower Hamlets that they wanted, they had a shit turnout, their leader got arrested and a bunch of them went home with stained pants and their tails between their legs. And they consider this a ‘massive victory.’ As they try to keep grassroots support and hold the image of the organisation together, they are reliant on half-truths, misinformation and outright lies. We can only wonder how long they can keep this going…but until then, lets “paint some white sheets” for our brave martyr Tommy, as they have cleverly suggested.

3CAFA would like to thank ALARM and the other anti-fascists we met on the weekend, for the hospitality and all of the great work they did both beforehand and on the day itself. We look forward to working with you again in the future. Until next time…

‘No fucking sandwiches ever’

3 Counties Anti-Fascist Alliance